Unofficial Airline Passenger Rules

Just found this awesome list of unofficial airline passenger rules – so funny!!

1) Boarding and disembarking by row
Boarding your flight is straight forward – simply join the queue when invited.
Once aboard, carry your luggage directly in front or directly behind, as luggage carried to the side will leave a path of destruction (and more than a few headaches) among the aisle-seat dwellers who have already occupied their positions.
When it’s time to disembark, don’t try to beat passenger 1A to the door if you’re seated in row 50. The passengers in rows 2 to 49 just won’t let it happen.

2) The overhead locker
This humble storage unit is now prime real estate, as travelers cram more into their hand luggage to avoid checked baggage charges, to reduce the risk of lost luggage and to pave the way for a fast airport getaway.
Ensure your bag is within the required dimensions, only bring one and, wherever possible, stow it in the locker directly above you. Don’t deposit your bag above seat 1A and then proceed to your seat at the back of the plane. Trust us – there will be flow-on effects.

3) The arm rest
Let’s face it; the middle seat doesn’t have a lot going for it.
As you settle in to your window or aisle seat, spare a thought for the disadvantaged middle seat dweller.
If you have established early elbow dominance on shared armrests, make some space for the middle seat dweller, who otherwise faces a long and uncomfortable journey without arm support.

4) Chair reclining
On short flights (under two hours), reclining should be kept to a minimum and avoided completely during meal times.
On longer flights, the one-in, all-in rule should apply.

5) Border crossings
Space is an extremely precious commodity in the economy cabin.
Don’t attempt to cross your neighbour’s border (unless invited) by stretching the legs or extending the arm span to read a fold-out map or a broadsheet newspaper. Changing the channel on your neighbour’s entertainment screen, stealing peanuts and reading over the shoulder are also frowned upon.

6) Footwear
You’re in close proximity to your neighbours. If there is any suggestion or past history of odour issues, footwear should remain on or should be carefully secured.

7) Mindless chatter
Before engaging in mid-flight banter with your neighbour, look for the obvious clues that point to a reluctant chatterer.
Headphones on or face buried in a book means “I don’t want to talk”.

Knees in the back
You’re in a confined space, so the occasional bump to the seat in front is inevitable. Regular knees in the back are, however, almost a declaration of war.

9) Hands off the headrest
Like knees in the back, hands on the headrest in front are frowned upon.
Avoid the temptation to pull the headrest in front for extra leverage when standing. The consequences of a poorly timed headrest shake can range from mild whiplash to severe red wine spillage.
10) The bathroom
Reaching the bathroom without breaching one or two of the rules above can be challenging.
So, if you’re likely to be a regular bathroom visitor, request an aisle seat and empty the tanks before boarding to avoid the rush that inevitably occurs once the fasten seatbelt sign is switched off.
On arrival at the bathroom, “fast and clean” are the rules. Toilet-based readers take note – the complimentary newspaper should remain in the seat pocket.

Pass it on if you, like me, know of a few people who could do with reading it!

airline rules, humour